Mood: Tired of everything/everone.
Listening to: Slutgarden (Marilyn Manson)
Reading: Lullaby by C. Palahniuk (s for Chuck Palahniuk!)

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My baby brother (of three years) almost died this weekend. It's painful seeing babies hooked up to IVs and shit. The way they cry and have no idea why they're being stabbed with needles and monitored in a sickeningly sterile environoment, fed through tubes and hooked to oxygen... But it wasn't that that made my weekend hellish. My mother. Her crying, screaming, hands, and... what the fuck... blaming me for not loving him. Fuck. That. It's awful and cold-hearted sounding to most of you, probably, but I don't love my family. Some people feel that connection, and I don't. I don't hate them. And it's not that i just don't always tolerate them. I know what love is. I love two people right now. My family is not included.


On a separate note... I wrote a song on my guitar. And it's actually listenable. I'm kind of proud of myself for once. It was one of those times where I couldn't stop playing until my fingers were raw and bleeding. The strings have blood on them. I should really wash them off.

Some people cut themselves. I play guitar, I guess. That would be a joke if it weren't so serious to me right now. Korn is the same thing. But withl istening (I can only play one song.)

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ON MY FURSONA: Kazru, the regular one, will remain my fursona, but... half of it. Her name will remain Kazru, and my "new" fursona's name will be Metakazru. It makes sense, and I've thought about doing this before...

Kazru will be drawn when displaying typical emotions, and Metakazru for extremly emotional pics. Metakazru will simply be a recolored version of Kazru, have wings, and have a few minor fur design alterations.

Haha I feel confusing. x3 Hope that made sense.

I changed my mind because I realized that even though at first Kazru doesn't "represent me", I'm still kind of attached to that image... And I love Kinkanine's design, of course. It's hard to part with a design that has, in essence, BEEN you for the past 4 years.


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Art Related Business Involving Other People That Must Soon Be Finished
- Christmas present
- Art Trade (Luso, blood, blunt object/medieval weapon)

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// Friends and Admired Artists || Livejournal || Aadil \\

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